Category Archives: personal growth

The Trouble With Motivation

Ugh. Motivation. Why do you come and go? Why is it so easy to workout (eat healthy, work hard at my job, clean house, write blog posts, keep learning, etc.) some days, and other days I’d rather have my teeth drilled? I know you feel this way, too. The internet is full of motivational images and articles designed to keep us doing what we should. Yet some days the cat posters just aren’t enough…

I recently read (listened to on audio book) You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. Full disclosure: I don’t feel great recommending this book. And no, it’s not because there’s a minor swear word in the title. Badass happens to be one of my favorite words. The reason I can’t fully endorse this book is because of Sincero’s messed up version of spirituality.

Early in the book she encourages her readers to get over their aversion to the notion of faith and just embrace it, because the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can tap in to the power of it. I thought that was great. A snarky, badass-talking, self-help book that actually embraces faith? Yay! And then I heard her definition of faith. Whomp-whomp.

Sincero has a very New Age version of spirituality. Basically throughout the book she promotes the idea that there is this life force energy in the world, and the sooner you can get on the same wavelength, the sooner you can tap into its power. The main problem with this philosophy is that it reduces God to a cosmic keg of warm feelings, flowing cash, and good parking spaces, and teaches that all we have to do is tap into that keg and it will be at our disposal. In other words, it strips God of his sovereignty and puts us in the driver’s seat.

The reason I mention the book to you at all is because there was one part that has literally changed my life. In one chapter, Sincero talks about the things we say to or about ourselves that hold us back. For example, I have long said that I don’t run, and that I have bad knees. Sincero points out that we start saying these things because they come from a point of truth and they serve us in some way. I really do have trouble with my knees, and saying that served to protect me by excusing me from doing things that would put strain on them. But it also held me back. Because I firmly believed that my knees were, are, and always will be “bad,” I never thought I could get fit, or start running, or lose weight long-term.

Following the advice in Sincero’s book, I made a list of these things I say about myself. I considered each one and what purpose it originally served. I took the cheesy, self-help step of thanking those thoughts for serving me in some way, and then I re-wrote them in a more empowering way. So “I don’t run,” and “I have bad knees,” became “I am a fit chick, and I’m getting stronger every day.” The next step is to start embracing that new mantra not just as what I do, but who I am, and to let that new identity guide my behavior.

Now instead of seeing myself as a fat woman with bad knees who thinks runners are crazy, I see myself as a fit chick who reads about nutrition, tries new exercises, and is getting closer every day to having the strong body that matches my fitness-focused mind. It’s a matter of making choices from a point of power and opportunity instead of a place of failure and shame. And it’s working. I can say no to junk because I’m a fit chick and “we” don’t do that, instead of saying no in front of people because I’m fat and then eating junk when I’m alone. I even ran/walked a 5k this month!

I can’t wait to apply this mindset to other areas of my life, as well.
I’m a writer/blogger, and I have good things to say.
I’m a historian who adds value to the community.
I’m an advocate for the hungry, and I have the skills and resources to make a difference.

In what areas of your life do you lack motivation? What half-truths do you tell yourself that hold you back? What empowering identity can you take on instead? Leave a comment!

Filling up on Cotton Candy

Last week we went on the mother of all road trips. We were away from home for six days, and four of those days we spent driving at least 11 hours per day. The other two days we spent on a college visit and playing tourist in Seattle. It was exhausting, and I still feel off my schedule and behind on everything after four days back at home.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned that I’ve been revamping my eating and exercise habits lately. But eating healthy and getting enough exercise when you’re sitting in the car all day, feasting on gas station snacks and fast food meals, is nearly impossible. One thing I noticed during this trip is that the more junk food was available to me, the less and less it satisfied me. At home, eating a clean diet and getting regular exercise, a rest day feels restful, and a treat is, well, a real treat. But a steady supply of laziness and junk stops satisfying.

On the way home I found myself standing in a truck stop in Montana, looking for a snack to tide me over so we could keep moving without a lunch break. I looked at the candy and chips, but nothing appealed to me. I looked at the beverages, but I just didn’t want another soda (or the ensuing potty break it would necessitate). I could have anything I wanted, and I just didn’t want any of it.

Since we’ve gotten home I have felt the same way about my behavior. I have so much that I need to do to get caught up – laundry, grocery shopping, getting back to the gym, etc., but as soon as I get a spare minute, I waste it playing games on my phone, drawing/coloring, or reading. The whole thing came to a head yesterday when I was praying about what to post this week. I confessed to the Lord that I just felt sluggish and out of touch with writing and with His heart. As soon as I confessed that, I began thinking of the ways I’ve wasted time lately. No wonder I’m unsatisfied, I’ve been filling up on cotton candy.

I’m not saying that you should strictly schedule every second of your day full of practical and efficient busyness. Down time and rest are imperative, and hobbies are wonderful and fulfilling. But it’s just like the treats I ate on the road. When it’s truly a treat, it’s fun and special. When you fill your life with fluff and junk, it stops satisfying.

1 Corinthians 10:31 says “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Rest when you need rest. Engage in hobbies that allow you to have a creative outlet, physical exercise, or just a good laugh. But don’t fill up on the cotton candy. Fill your days with things that bring glory to God and bless others so your treats can be a treat.

(re)defining need

“But mom, I need new shoes!”

“I can’t afford to buy fair trade. Sometimes you just need some new earrings, and I can’t afford to drop that kind of money every time.”

“The miles are really adding up on my car; I need to get a new one soon.”

Need. Four little letters. A simple concept, but one that is so misunderstood.

The simple and straightforward dictionary definition of the verb “need” is “to require.” Synonyms include “necessitate,” and “emergency.” Neither the definition nor the synonyms include “latest fashion,” “entertainment,” or even “comfort.”

One of God’s great promises, shared all throughout the Bible, is that he will provide for all our needs. Consider Philippians 4:19, “for God will supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory.”

Another example is found in the Old Testament. When the children of Israel were wandering in the dessert for 40 years, they couldn’t grow crops (although the way they wandered you kind of wonder if they could have planted fields and harvested them on the next loop, because they undoubtedly crossed the same territory over and over in their wanderings. But, you know, dessert isn’t really self-sustaining anyway. I digress…). A whole nation of people on the move for 40 years go through a lot of food, and I don’t think they wandered past a Wal-Mart. Their only hope was God’s miraculous provision.

Exodus 16:16-29
This is what the LORD has commanded: ‘Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take an omer (one day’s supply) for each person you have in your tent.’ ” The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little. And when they measured it by the omer, the one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little. Everyone had gathered just as much as they needed. Then Moses said to them, “No one is to keep any of it until morning.” However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

Each morning everyone gathered as much as they needed, and when the sun grew hot, it melted away. On the sixth day, they gathered twice as much—two omers for each person—and the leaders of the community came and reported this to Moses. He said to them, “This is what the LORD commanded: ‘Tomorrow is to be a day of sabbath rest, a holy sabbath to the LORD. So bake what you want to bake and boil what you want to boil. Save whatever is left and keep it until morning.’ ” 

So they saved it until morning, as Moses commanded, and it did not stink or get maggots in it. “Eat it today,” Moses said, “because today is a sabbath to the LORD. You will not find any of it on the ground today. Six days you are to gather it, but on the seventh day, the Sabbath, there will not be any.” 

Nevertheless, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they found none. Then the LORD said to Moses, “How long will you refuse to keep my commands and my instructions? Bear in mind that the LORD has given you the Sabbath; that is why on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Everyone is to stay where they are on the seventh day; no one is to go out.”

Sitting here in 21st Century America, with a kitchen full of food, clean water on tap, and even a bit of savings for retirement, it’s easy to shake our heads and even facepalm at the Israelites. What part of ONE OMER don’t you understand!?! You wake up every single morning to a miracle you can see with your own eyes. How can you have so little faith!?!

I know how. Every morning I wake up to the miracle of another sunrise, the blessing of a job, good health, and a loving family. Yet I, like most of you, try to control the future. I hoard and save, I withhold when I should give. I buy until I get used to so much stuff that I think I can’t make do with less. I pay so little for all my crap that I don’t bother maintaining or repairing things when I can more easily toss things out and buy new stuff.

In her book, Made to Crave, Lysa TerKeurst argues that we were created to rely on God, made to live in a constant state of reliance. But the easier life has gotten, the further we have pulled away from faith in the God who promises to never leave us nor forsake us.

As a Midwestern ENTJ of German and Scandinavian descent, I am so all about responsibility and control. The idea that I was made to live in a constant state of reliance on God stresses me out. I wanna drive, here! It’s not that I think I know better than God. It’s not that I think He can’t provide for me. I think my fear, my scarcity mentality, comes from the belief that I am capable of so much that I just want to save God the bother, let Him spend his time on things we humans can’t control while I handle my own credit card debt, heating bills, and retirement planning. I just don’t want to be a burden.

You see? I’m just like the Israelites. God says “live within your means” (Proverbs 22:7), and I say “put it on my Visa!” God says “don’t be a glutton” (Proverbs 23:21), I say “let’s get a pizza!” God says “give and it will be given to you” (Luke 6:38), and I say, “I can’t because then I couldn’t do this other thing that makes me happy.”

Around and around the Israelites and I go, hearing the commands, observing the miracles, and then trying to do things our own way. It makes me wonder how much time we spend wandering in the wilderness instead of enjoying the Promised Land that God has for us!

 

Indecision Kills…

Happy Sunday! Why am I coming to you two days late this week? Did I not have anything to say? Oh no, I had too much to say. Then I stalled out trying to decide what to share with you.

It’s an important week. Lent started this last Wednesday, and #EndIt Day 2018 is coming up this Thursday. Both are topics I have covered before (the hyperlinks will take you to those past articles), and both are things I want to talk about again. But since I’ve already covered them, do I have new things to say? So back and forth I went all week, and I ended up writing nothing.

But I don’t want to miss my chance to share these important things with you, so I’m going to hit on both of them briefly and let you all get back to watching the Olympics…

OK, so Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, the official first day of the 2018 Lenten season. As of Wednesday, I didn’t have a clear plan for how I would participate in Lent this year (More indecision! What is with me this week??). One of my friends shared on social media that one of the things she’s doing for Lent this year is giving up her snooze button. That one hit me hard! I’m a hardcore night owl. Given the freedom to set my own schedule, I would probably get my eight hours between 2:00 am and 10:00 am. For as long as I can remember, I have fought to fall asleep every night and fought to get out of bed every morning. I have two alarms set every morning (I occasionally sleep right through the first one), and it’s not unusual for me to hit snooze once or twice, and then to sit in bed and goof around on my phone when I should be getting up and starting my day. I can feel some of you rolling your eyes. I’m pitiful, I know. But it’s cold here, and it’s hard to leave my cozy nest! Clearly this is an area of my life where I can work on self-discipline!

So I borrowed my friend’s genius plan, and I’m giving up my snooze button for Lent. When the alarm goes off, I have to leave my bed. I’m using this “extra” time to spend more time reading the Bible. When my alarm goes off and I feel like growling about it, I stop instead and thank Jesus for his incredible sacrifice, and I offer him my small sacrifice. I’m hoping that this will help me have better sleep habits, sure, but I think the real reward will be the extra time in the word and the increased awareness of what Jesus has done for me.

As usual, I’m participating in the practice of not eating meat on Fridays as well. This isn’t terribly difficult to do, but I enjoy the feeling of being part of this global exercise. I take time on Fridays to pray for the Church around the world – for Christians who are persecuted, for ministers and missionaries, and for aid workers who have given their lives to helping others in the name of Jesus.

Are you participating in Lent? Pop over to the Food Shelf Friday Facebook page and share your Lenten plan. My friend’s idea sparked my plan for this year; your plan could do the same for someone!

 

The second thing I want to mention this week is the approach of #EndIt Day 2018. The idea behind this day is to raise awareness of the crisis of modern day slavery. As an historian I know all about pre-1860s slavery, and I know we tend to talk about slavery in the past tense. But there are more people living in slavery around the world today than at any time in history. And there are people living in slavery right here in the United States.

The “how” of #EndIt day is to put a big, red X on your hand on Thursday, February 22. When someone asks you about your X, you have the opportunity to let them know about modern slavery, and about the non-profit organizations working to fight this travesty. There are also social media images and banners that you can share to start the conversation with your online friends. Visit the End It Movement website for all the information, links to participating organizations, and social media images to help you spread awareness in your circle. The first step in ending this crisis is to stop the denial with awareness, education, and resources. I’ll be sporting my red X on Thursday, and I hope you do, too!

There you go! I got over the indecision hurdle and gave you information on two important things going on right now! I hope you learned something that will empower you this season!

When the Pieces Don’t Fit

We have been watching the news out of Puerto Rico with heavy hearts this week. It’s hard to believe that the same beautiful, sunny places Jacob visited in June are now devastated. I haven’t heard anything about the camp where they worked or the people they met on their trip. I understand communication is pretty limited. Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of the island.

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In the closet of my home office, I have a stash of jigsaw puzzles. Most of them are Americana-style artwork by Charles Wysocki, but I also have a Vikings stadium cartoon picture, album covers from the 1970s, and (my favorite) propaganda posters from WWII. One of my favorite ways to spend a Sunday is to turn on a football game and pick away at a jigsaw puzzle.

A while back, I was working on my favorite puzzle, again, and there was one little hole in an otherwise completed section. I was nearing the end, so I perused the remaining pieces and saw exactly what I was looking for. The colors and shape looked just right, but no matter how I turned the piece, it just didn’t fit. In my eyes it was so obvious that it was the right piece, but it just wasn’t. I had to set it aside and keep looking, trusting that the right piece was out there, and that this piece had a different space to fill. 

It dawned on me that this is just like God’s will for our lives. We see what we think is right and we try to jam it in, even though it doesn’t really fit. But that thing, be it a relationship, job, house, or whatever we’re looking for, has its own place to fit, and there may be a different piece, a right piece, for your life. You just have to trust that the God who gave you all the pieces knows which one really fits. 

I once applied for a job that I thought was absolutely perfect for me. It was close to home, great hours, with an organization I care for deeply. I sent in my resume, and quickly received an email asking me to do a phone interview. That went well, and I was invited to do an in-person interview as well. I was so confidant that my skills and their needs were a fit that I wasn’t even nervous going into the interview. A week later, I got an email thanking me for my time and letting me know that they hired someone else. I was shocked. I thought the job and I were a perfect fit for one another – the colors and shapes were all right, but it just didn’t fall into place.

God has never let me down. I didn’t get that job, but I have a job that I enjoy – one that utilizes my education. And I’m sure He hasn’t let that organization down either. I have no doubt that He provided for them just the right person to fill that role and advance their mission. I believe that because I trust the puzzle maker. He puts the pieces into place even when it doesn’t look like we expect!

Isaiah 55:8-9 says “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'”
Psalm 139:16 says, “…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

What stories do you have of God putting things together in His perfect timing? Share in the comments! “It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me.” (Daniel 4:2)