For Such a Time as This

Faith, , ,

A few years ago, I tapped into my long-neglected artsy side through the medium of scripture doodling. I would sit down with Flair pens, colored pencils, a blank page, and a verse of the Bible, and spend time dwelling on the words as I wrote them out in a decorative way. It was a good exercise for me, and (like most forms of exercise…) something I should do more often.

During that honeymoon phase with my new hobby, I wasn’t sure which scriptures to doodle each day. So I devised a plan. My birthday is April 14, so I started at Genesis and looked up every chapter 4 verse 14 in the Bible. Some books don’t have four chapters. Some fourth chapters don’t have fourteen verses. Some 4:14 verses just didn’t work alone or lend themselves to art (Numbers 4:14, for example, gives directions on how to move the altar utensils while the Israelites were on the move – important, but not really suited to my project). But I found a number of suitable candidates

Nehemiah 4:14

My “artwork” ranged from the simple to the more elaborate, but all of it allowed me to spend time savoring God’s word.

1 Thessalonians 4:14

Among all my 4:14 verses, one stood out. The book of Esther tells the story of a young Jewish girl in Persia. Though not especially ambitious, Esther finds herself swept into a beauty pageant of sorts and chosen as the new queen. When her cousin uncovers a plot to wipe out the Persian Jews, Esther has to speak up to save her people.

She’s more than a little reluctant… Speaking unbidden could cost her life. Being revealed as a Jew could cost her life. She has a good thing going there in the palace, flying under the radar. But in chapter four, verse fourteen, Esther’s cousin, Mordecai, issues a reminder.

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
Esther 4:14 NIV

In other words: God will protect His people; He always does. Will you be part of it? Why do you think He put you in position right when you could help?

I get Esther’s reluctance. I don’t like to rock the boat. I’d rather thank God for His blessings, then sit back and enjoy them. But as much as I hate to admit it, that’s not the point.

If, as a parent, I just delight in spoiling my child, and I hate having to scold or say “no,” I’m not going to raise him into a very good adult. Kids who experience nothing but indulgence grow up entitled, selfish, and lazy. We all know that, as hard as it is, we have to give our kids boundaries and teach them to work hard.

How much smarter and wiser is our heavenly father? He gives us everything we need, and sometimes (often, here in America), He gives us extra to share.

I sometimes feel God tugging at me to say something, do something, or give something, and I resist. “But God,” I whine, “I don’t want to. What if I lose followers? How can I reach people if my platform shrinks? What if I lose friends? What if they think I’m weird, or I offend someone? What if I don’t have enough left for me and my plans? I’m already so busy. How can you ask for more?“

It’s not natural, it’s not easy, and quite honestly, I’m not good at it. But God reminds me over and over, just as Mordecai reminded Esther, “for such a time as this.”

I don’t want to be a warrior.

I don’t really like to argue.

Just let me serve behind the scenes, Lord. I’d rather be a support person and let others lead.

So He reminds me again and again, “who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?”

In EVERYTHING Give Thanks

Faith, inspiration, personal growth,

I’m feeling a bit philosophical on this Monday morning. It’s July, but instead of the ninety-six degree heat and high humidity we endured a few days ago, it’s seventy-five and absolutely blue-sky, soft breeze, light whispy cloud perfect. Monday is my day off, and after sleeping in, I decided to take a little extra time to relax and enjoy the beautiful morning.

My life isn’t perfect. It’s worn, lived in, and in constant need of upkeep. But it’s good. And as I carefully step over a rotten deck board and put up my new patio umbrella on my day off, that’s what’s on my mind – the mix of old and new, the comfort of familiarity.

– The lawn that needs mowing and the amazing weather to do it.
– The kitchen we remodeled two years ago, and the floor we never got around to.
– The jobs that bring me stress, but also fulfillment (and, you know, pay my bills…).
– Things that get better with time and things that just get older with time.
– Situations we thought were going to be awesome but ended up being a hassle.
– Situations we thought were going to be a hassle that ended up being something great.
– Unexpected disasters that turned into funny memories.

I’ve always loved those remodeling shows where, in 30 minutes of viewing, everything gets replaced with fresh, finished, and new. But I don’t think we’re meant to live like that. There’s no one moment where everything is suddenly perfect all at one time. Life isn’t meant to be staged; it’s meant to be lived in.

I have a to-do list a mile long, but I’m taking the time to sit on my deck and read, write, reflect, and have a second cup of coffee because I’m old enough to realize that this perfect weather landing on my day off is a rare and precious gift in July. I’m going to drive my convertible today because winter comes too soon. I’ll go to the gym, and wear sunscreen, and drink water because I’m not young and invincible anymore. But I’m going to do it all – the fun and the not-so-fun – with the same sense of gratitude, because whatever is swirling around and falling apart in this stressful, pandemic-stricken world, there are still things to be grateful for, and things to enjoy.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT: Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Always be joyful: not necessarily happy, but joyful. Happy is a fleeting feeling, but joy is a way of life that comes from knowing that life is more than today’s headlines and stressor.

Never stop praying: with gratitude when all seems right, and with supplication when all seems wrong. The good, and the bad, and all the messy in-between.

Be thankful in all circumstances: as historian Alice Morse Earle famously said, “Every day may not be good… but there’s something good in every day.”

#Challenge2020 – July Reading Challenge

personal growth, ,

I know I’ve talked about this before, but when I felt like my word for 2020 was “Challenge,” I was kinda bummed. But I went with it. I went on Pinterest and started saving challenges. I tried a few things in January and February. I won some, I lost some.

Then came March…

I had no idea what challenge to take on in March. I looked at lots of ideas and nothing jumped out at me. I decided to forgo March and set a challenge for Lent instead. Again, nothing sat right.

Then came Covid…

Okay, so maybe 2020 IS the challenge. For the last three and a half months I’ve worked (from home!) to expand my church’s and employers’ reach on social media. I’ve rebuilt and updated websites. I’ve blogged. I’ve learned Photoshop and found other tools and resources. I found ways to get groceries, cook/bake what we couldn’t buy, or go without. I attended (and hosted) church via streaming platforms. I decorated my windows with hearts, cleaned out closets, and used Zoom and social media to keep in touch with friends and family. It’s been a challenge, for all of us.

And here I sit, July first. I’m back at work – full-time in the office(s). My son has gone off to his summer job. I got my teeth cleaned last week, and restaurants are opening up. We’re back to having church in person. Cases are climbing, but things are settling back to what we consider normal.

And I have a new challenge on my heart…

Like many of you, my “To Be Read” (TBR) pile is HUGE. I’m halfway through several books at any given time, and I buy more and reread favorites even though the pile keeps growing! So my challenge for July is simple: read/finish three books. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but hear me out.

Book one is The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. As a direct result of the unrest and racial tensions in our nation, I decided to educate myself about the experiences of people who are different from me. I don’t have to agree with everything they think, do, or say, but I want to know their “why.” I want to know what I’m not aware of so I can form opinions that aren’t just based on my own experiences. I started listening to this book on audio last month, and it’s slow going. There are only six chapters (plus an introduction) but each of the seven sections is over two hours long and full of so much information that it’s time-consuming to digest.

Book two is in a completely different direction. I bought a copy of Growing up With Manos: the Hands of Fate over a year ago, and haven’t read it yet. The book was written by Jackey Neyman Jones, the child star of a really crappy movie. As a big Mystery Science Theater/Rifftrax fan, I’ve known Manos: The Hands of Fate for years, and learning that there was a book about the making of that crappy classic had my attention. This month I’ll finally give it a read.

Book three is another one off my Audible library. My Audible credits added up when I wasn’t commuting, and I currently have four unfinished books sitting in my account when I’m usually waiting for credits! Other than The New Jim Crow, my waiting books are We Were the Lucky Ones by Georgia Hunter, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce, and Extraordinary, Ordinary People by Condoleezza Rice. At least one of them will be done by the end of July!

So that’s what I’m up to right now. I hope you and yours are all staying healthy, and that you’ve found ways to make the most of this crazy time.

Psalm 46:1-3: God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

The Struggle is Real: Non-profits in the Wake of Covid-19

Charity Review, Current Events, Disaster Relief, ,

As you know, my day job is at a history museum. We’re an educational non-profit, so we’ve been affected by the Coronavirus shutdowns. In fact, we’ve been declared “entertainment,” and will be among the last things allowed to open. We had to cancel a fundraiser we depend on, and we’ve had to spend more money to adapt and continue providing our research and educational services while we’re forced to be closed.

It’s not all bad news. We’ve expanded and improved our online presence. We’ve caught up on projects that cluttered our desks for months. Stimulus programs have allowed the staff to continue working and getting paid. I’m not commuting so much.

I tell you this today because thinking about our challenges got me wondering about other non-profit organizations. I currently serve on the board at my church and I watch the TV news, so I can tell you that in the social services sector demand for aid is up. People have lost jobs, businesses have gone under, and the needs are great. Meanwhile for the non-profits, fundraisers are canceled, volunteers can’t come in, and donations and distribution may be down. It’s a perfect storm…

Here are a few things you can do, and a few stories I’ve heard from non-profits I follow:

  1. Pray: That’s how it always goes. What I learned in Sunday School and come back to for every crisis, need, or opportunity: Pray, Give, Go. Whether or not you have funds to contribute, you can always pray. Pray for the missionaries, ministries, social service organizations, and non-profits out there helping people. Pray for funding, for safety, for doors to open for them, and for the health and safety of their staff. Pray for people who need jobs, and services to tide them over until they’re working again.
  2. Give – Money: Flexibility has been the theme of surviving Covid. Small businesses that existed only in brick-and-mortar stores have started selling online. Here in Minnesota restaurants have gone curbside, and are now carving out outdoor eating spaces so they can bring back customers. In-person events have become teleconferences. Birthday parties and graduations have become drive-thru parades. We’re making it work, but that’s not always cheap. Churches have had to invest in technology to create online services, and we’re all investing in Zoom memberships (seriously, they have to be VERY profitable right now!)

    One example of this is Feed My Starving Children. I got an email from them yesterday that explained how they’re continuing to feed kids without the volunteer labor they depend on. They’ve started using some machine labor, put some of their staff to work packing, and even hired inmates to pack meals (the human labor under VERY careful and stringent limitations). The email said that they’re only able to pack HALF of the meals per month that they planned for this year, and it’s costing them $750,000 more per month. Ouch! But kids around the world depend on FMSC’s Manna Pack. If you can afford to give, please do.

    Kiva and other microfinance organizations are also in need of donors. They’re trying to help small businesses stay afloat as they try to adapt, or when don’t qualify for some of the programs out there. Microfinance allows small businesses and individuals who struggle to get access to credit with small loans on fair terms. What I like about “giving” to this program is that I (almost always) get the money back to invest again and again!

    Mail in your tithe checks to your church (or give online if your church offers that), give to your favorite non-profits, buy from your favorite fairtrade retailers. It’s just like ordering carryout from local restaurants or buying from local businesses. Every dollar you spend or give is a vote for the kind of world you want to live in!

  3. Give – Non-monetary: A lot of people are using their stay-at-home days to FINALLY go through their closets and things. Purging is good for us, but it can also be a boon to non-profits. Did you find something cool your local history museum might like? Take some pictures and send them an email. Cleaning out cupboards? Donate to a food shelf. Sell more valuable items on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace and give away the proceeds.
  4. Go: According to AgingPlace, people over 55 make up 35 percent of volunteers in America. I honestly thought it would be higher. Retirees have daytime availability and tend to have a good work ethic that doesn’t make them comfortable with idleness! Unfortunately, they’re also the most vulnerable right now with Covid-19. If you are healthy and have time, check with your favorite non-profit. They might need your help right now! Offer your IT or social media skills if you have them. Like and follow on social media and share their posts to increase their visibility. Do what you can!

One last tip: If you want to do double-duty with your gifts, buy fairtrade or from local small businesses when giving to non-profits. If you’re buying things to donate to a food drive, get it at a locally-owned market. If you want to bless workers with a free lunch, order it from a local restaurant. As John Wesley said, “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

I Can’t Breathe

Current Events, , ,

Quarantine, Day 74
Minneapolis Riots, Day 3

I appreciate/understand that I’m blessed. My husband, son, and I are all healthy and safe at home. My husband and I continue to work (from home) and get paid. We’d really like to get back to the gym and church, but we’re safe, healthy, and our needs are met. Not everyone is that fortunate right now.

Likewise, we live in undeserved privilege because we were born white. I can wear a dark hoodie in public, or a face mask, and no one looks at me like I might be there to rob them. My son can go for a run after dark and not fear that he’ll be shot or arrested because he might be running from a crime scene. If I get pulled over for something like speeding or expired license tabs, I don’t worry that one wrong twitch will get me shot.

I can’t even begin to pretend that I understand what it’s like to be a person of color in America. They face challenges I will never experience. They are judged and threatened even just going about their law-abiding day-to-day lives.

When I was a child, I went about my life thinking that racism was mostly a southern thing, and that the overt kind of racism was limited to the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, white trash “Bubbas,” and ignorant old people. I grew up in white small towns in the middle of nowhere, and I believed that Martin Luther King fixed things.

Even after I grew up, moved to the city, and got educated – though I learned that racism and slavery were alive and well – I still didn’t think it happened here. We’re “Minnesota nice,” right? I got to know some people of color. We went to church together, raised our kids together, and worked together. I gave very little thought to the color of their skin.

Then police shootings started to make headlines. I took my usual stance of “calm down,” “hear the whole story,” and “think before you act.” That’s kind of who I am. There are two sides to everything, and I hate when people freak out and make a situation worse because of their inflammatory behavior (something a lot of people need to consider before they hit that share button on Facebook…). But have I extended that same courtesy to the accused? We’re innocent until proven guilty in America. Yet I’ve been quick to jump to the defense of police, but not the accused. That’s evidence of my inherent white privilege bias – the “whole story” is a principle that needs to be evenly applied.

The dawning of my racial awareness has been slow…

Yesterday I woke up and MY city was on fire.

  • I can’t tell myself that racism doesn’t happen here, because it does. It did. It costs innocent people their security and their lives.
  • Being a cop is a hard, thankless job, and they deserve our support, but so is being a person of color in America. They deserve the benefit of the doubt, a chance to tell their stories, and our support as they go about their lives trying to do the right thing and take care of their own.
  • Yes, there are criminals out there – lots of them. Yes, they deserve to be prosecuted and punished. But the law, and the benefit of the doubt need to be evenly applied. And there are bad cops out there, too. They deserve to be prosecuted and punished, too.
  • I wish good and bad were fixed, concrete ideas, and that good always won and bad was always defeated. But the simple truth is that sometimes everyone is right AND everyone is wrong. I understand the anger and the protests. I don’t understand the looting and burning. This is our city, our home. Rioting vents frustration and sends a message that the world can’t ignore, but it also advances stereotypes of violence and untrustworthiness. It damages the businesses we depend on and widens the gaps between people.

I want to DO something, but I don’t know what to do. God knows I have a lot to learn, and that I don’t have solutions. I just want to serve my neighbors who are wronged. I want to support justice. I want to pull out the roots of my own biases. But I also kind of want to hide. I don’t have answers, or the right to speak for others. But just worrying about my own attitudes and behaviors doesn’t feel like enough when my city is burning.

I’m frustrated. Heartbroken. Angry. So I pray. I examine myself. I talk to others who want change without violence. I pray some more. I try to educate myself so I can do better and be better in the future.

I can’t bury my head in the sand any longer. It’s too hard to breathe like that.